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5 New Ideas To Create Ease With Kids That Have Been Labelled

So often we are told how we should and shouldn’t be with kids, what is the right way of doing things, the correct approach, the wrong things you should never say, and the results all of this will bring. And a lot of this information can be incredibly useful, both for the adults and the kids. But how often does it leave the adults feeling like yet again, they have not done a good enough job? Or they are failing as parents/teachers? Or that this may be yet another technique that kind of works a few times, but doesn’t create lasting change? ​
I often wonder what it would be like if the adults in these situations were empowered to know that they don’t always have to be the one coming up with the answers. What would it be like if you had the techniques that allowed you and the child to navigate all kinds of situations with ease? This sounds like an ideal scenario, right? And perhaps one that is too easy. Well, what if ease and joy could be a huge part of your interaction with kids on every level from the most ‘difficult’ to the most easy moments.

Here are 5 new ideas to create more ease with the kids in your life.

  1. Ask the child questions. So often we try and come to a conclusion about what kids are going through, what they should be doing and should not be doing. How often do we ask questions to find out what’s really going on? Ask your child questions such as ‘what are you aware of? What are you perceiving? What are you telling me that I’m not getting?’
  2. Speak their language don’t get them to try and speak yours. A lot of kids that have been labelled will think information at you and may not have the words to communicate succinctly in a way that you understand. Once you can acknowledge that they are talking to you (just not out loud) you can ask them questions that will allow them to give you the information they are communicating. As Gary Douglas, the Founder of Access Consciousness says, ‘A question empowers and an answer disempowers’. By acknowledging that and adding questions into every interaction (both questions to yourself and out loud to the child) you may find that you the question will become your compass of choice for different possibilities.
  3. Recognise that a lot of kids that have been labelled with a disability think in pictures. X-Men, as we affectionately call the kids and adults that have been labelled, are very visual thinkers. Speaking to them and describing things or giving instructions using words alone is often not going to get the results you desire. Aim to paint a picture every time you communicate with them so they can visualise what is in your mind and what you are asking of them, this makes it much easier for them to understand and ‘see’ what you are saying.
  4. Give them more information not less. One of the biggest misconceptions that we have is that these kids have to be given small amounts of information at any one time. This is largely due to point 3 where we are not used to communicating in a way they understand or follow. Once you can speak their language you will get far greater results if you give them the full picture of what you are asking or showing them rather than breaking it down.
  5. They are not less, they are not slow, they are just different. They communicate, perceive he we and receive information in a different way. Once we recognise this then it becomes easy for us to receive what’s really going on in every case with every child at every given moment.

The beauty of these techniques is that you can’t get them wrong. What you can gain is increased awareness that allows the child and your connection with them to grow.

How does it get any better than that?

To find out more about the tools of access consciousness and how they can be used as a new way of approaching disabilities visit

You can read the Italian version of this article that was published in here!